Develop your positive attitude!

Here are some ways to help you develop a more positive attitude and better manage the stressors in your life:

• Listen to internal dialogue. Divide one or more sheets of paper into two columns and, for a few days, jot down in the left column all the negative thoughts that come into your head. Rewrite each thought in a positive way in the second column. Practice doing this in your mind until it becomes a habit. (For example, "I'll never get this finished by the end of the day!" could become, "I will probably get most of this finished by the end of the day.")
• Learn to communicate. Not saying the things we feel can lead to a sense of frustration, hurt, anger or anxiety . If you find communicating difficult, or are afraid of arguments or bruised feelings, take a course in communicating effectively.
• Get back to basics. Reconnect with old friends, take the dog for a walk, visit an art gallery or listen to your favourite music. Enjoy a long, relaxing bath, read a great book, tell your child a story, or ask an older relative to tell you one! It is the simplest things in life that give us the most pleasure...
• Help someone out. The simple act of helping others helps us to feel good. Pick up groceries for an aging neighbour, volunteer at your local hospital or read a book to someone with failing eyesight. If you are unsure of how to help out in your community, call your nearest volunteer centre.
• Find your spirituality. Research has shown that those who have developed their spirituality through associating with other spiritual individuals or having their own personal and unique beliefs, live longer, more satisfying lives. The secret is practising those beliefs, either through organized spiritual associations, or simple meditation in a quiet place.
• Allow yourself to be loved. The ability to love and be loved is the most basic human trait. We, as a society, have become disconnected from this most basic need - fear-centred emotions (depression, loneliness, guilt and anger) are the symptoms. Finding ways to reconnect with others is extremely helpful in developing a positive attitude. The following link is very enlightening. The Web of Love - Reconnecting with Source www.WebofLove.org
• Allow yourself to laugh and find humour in the simplest of things. Laughter is a powerful mood elevator. If you are feeling down, read some jokes, watch a funny movie or just act "silly" once in awhile. At times, it is a good thing to let yourself see the world through a child's eyes. Click here for examples of silly things that help diffuse stress.
• Participate in new physical and mental activities to improve confidence levels and coping mechanisms. It could be as easy as learning the meanings of new words or learning about new topics to build confidence.
• Follow the principles of holistic health (better nutrition and exercise help improve mood and attitude)
• Remember that the mainstream media focuses on information that leads to fear, negative thoughts and emotion. Find other more positive things to do with your precious moments such as reading a great positive book, a walk in nature or volunteering with people and animals.
• It is all about letting go of the "emotional baggage" that holds us back from true enlightenment! All that you require is already within you, so do not give your power away by blindly following others. Rather, trust in the goodness that already resides within your heart.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams.
Who looks inside, awakens.
Carl Jung

SMILE

Smile for better heart health: a good attitude may be your best prescription if you have heart disease, says new research -Brief Article

2 Factor to fail (in malay)

Dua Faktor Utama Kegagalan

Inginkan kejayaan dan kekayaan, tetapi, apabila anda ingin

memulakan langkah pertama anda kearah kejayaan, ada sesuatu tidak

mengizinkan anda mencapainya? . Seperti, terdapat sejenis "kuasa"

ini yang menghalang anda untuk mengaturkan langkah.

Ada dua faktor penting yang sering membuat kita tidak dapat

mengorakkan langkah pertama kearah kejayaan dan kewangan. Dua

faktor tersebut adalah faktor utama kegagalan:

1: Fikirkan tidak boleh!

Perasaan ini sering berada pada majoriti masyarakat. Ramai

memandang rendah dengan kebolehan diri sendiri- perasaan fikirkan

tidak boleh.

Perasaan ini adalah perasaan yang sering bercakap pada diri sendiri

bahawa "Saya tidak boleh melakukannya. Saya akan gagal". Setiap

kali peluang atau keadaan hadir didepan anda, pemandangan anda

menjadi kelabu dengan fikiran tidak boleh ini.

Pakar psikologist, Abraham Maslow mengatakan; memandang rendah

dengan kebolehan sendiri terjadi adalah kerana secara sedar ataupun

tidak, seseorang itu telah menerima di fikirannya bahawa tiada apa

yang dia boleh lakukan untuk mengubah keadaan dirinya.

Teringat saya dengan cerita Eddy Murphy The Nutty Professor (di

mana Eddy Murphy menjadi Professor Sherman yang amat gemuk) dan

ketika beliau ingin menurunkan berat badannya, beliau ke gym dan

bersenam sambil berkata "Yes I can!... Yes I can!".

Anda juga perlu menjadi seperti ini. Bukan menjadi

amat gemuk! :). Setiap kali anda ingin membuat perubahan kepada

diri anda, lawan fikiran dalaman anda yang sering mengatakan "tidak

boleh" kepada "Saya Boleh! Saya Boleh! Saya Boleh!".

Saya pula selalu membayangkan Professor Sherman setiap kali! Mesti

saya tersenyum ketika berhadapan dengan keadaan "Fikirkan Tak Boleh"

Fikirkan tidak boleh ini berkaitan rapat dengan k on sep kendiri

kita. K on sep kendiri bermaksud bagaimana anda melihat diri anda

sendiri. Sekiranya anda melihat diri anda mempunyai keyakinan diri

yang rendah, maka, begitulah cara anda akan fikirkan tentang

keseluruhan diri anda dan anda akan kaitkannya dengan apa sahaja

anda lakukan.
============ ========= ========= ========= ======

============ ========= ========= ========= ======

Terdapat satu kisah ini di mana seorang wanita/ibu yang mempunyai

keyakinan diri yang rendah, sering memencilkan diri di pejabat dan

juga tidak bergaul dengan rakan-rakan dan jiran-jiran. K on sep

kendiri dan keyakinan dirinya adalah amat rendah sehinggakan

mengganggu kerjayanya dan tanggungjawabnya kepada keluarga.

Malang tidak berbau, satu hari, ibu tersebut mengalami kemalangan

jalan raya. Beliau berada didalam keadaan koma untuk beberapa

bulan. Apabila dia tersedar dari koma, beliau mengalami amnesia

(lupa fikiran) yang agak kr on ik. Beliau tidak tahu siapa dirinya

sebelum kemalangan.

Hari berlalu, dan isu ini mengganggu fikirannya. Beliau mula

menyelidik kes-kes amnesia yang lain. Beliau ke perpustakaan, dan

mengambil kelas perubatan untuk memahami kes-kes amnesia. Beliau

juga menulis laporan pengalamannya dan penemuannya melalui

penyelidikan dan berk on gsikannya dengan pakar-pakar perubatan.

Sering kali beliau di jemput memberi ucapan megenai amnesia kepada

pakar-pakar perubatan.

Apa yang telah terjadi? Dari seorang wanita yang tidak mempunyai

keyakinan diri, kepada seorang tokoh perubatan dalam bidang amnesia?

Wanita ini telah berjaya mengubah k on sep kendirinya secara tidak

sengaja- iaitu beliau terlupa k on sep kendirinya yang lalu melalui

amnesia.

Bagi kita yang tidak mempunyai amnesia (melainkan "buat-buat lupa"

:) )boleh mengambil pengajaran dari kisah ini. Iaitu, kita sendiri

yang membentuk konsep kendiri kita melalui pengalaman hidup kita.

Dengan fikiran yang positif, kita boleh mengubahkan k on sep kendiri

kita untuk mencapai apa jua kejayaan yang tidak pernah difikirkan.

Ubahkan konsep kendiri anda!

============ ========= ========= ========= ======

============ ========= ========= ========= ======

2: Zon Selesa

Faktor yang kedua yang menyebabkan kita gagal mengambil langkah

pertama kearah kejayaan adalah kerana Z on Selesa kita. Semua orang

mempunyai z on selesa. Iaitu keadaan di mana anda rasa selesa dan

tidak mahu berubah. Boleh dikatakan keadaan anda sekarang ini...

sedang membaca email ini. Terasa selesa di depan komputer. Nak

berubah dari keadaan z on selesa anda kini terasa berat... oleh kerana

anda selesa dengan keadaan semasa ini.

Hidup kita juga terdapat z on selesa. Iaitu kehidupan anda kini-

anda terasa selesa dengan keadaan hidup anda. Walaupun faktor ini

dinamakan "z on selesa", walaupun keadaan yang tidak selesa

(kekurangan) , masih menjadi "z on selesa".

Faktor Z on Selesa mengatakan, ia adalah amat sukar untuk seseorang

itu keluar dari z on selesanya. Manusia adalah insan yang mempunyai

tabiat. Tabiat akan membuatkan kita terperangkap di z on selesa.

Setiap kali peluang tiba untuk kita keluar dari z on

selesa, tabiat akan menarikkan kita balik ke z on selesa. Setiap

kali kita ingin keluar dari keadaan semasa, tabiat akan menarikkan

kita dengan keadaan kita kini. Itulah akibat tabiat.

Berita buruknya, ia amat sukar untuk keluar dari Z on Selesa kita.

Berita baiknya adalah, sekiranya anda berjaya keluar dari Z on

Selesa anda, dan berfungsi pada keadaan yang baru (diluar z on

selesa) buat satu jangka masa yang tertentu, Z on selesa anda juga

akan turut berubah kepada keadaan yang baru. Tabiat anda akan

berpegang pada z on selesa baru.

Sebagai contoh, sekiranya anda sering bekerja 4 jam sehari tanpa

henti, ini adalah z on selesa anda. Apabila anda ingin bekerja lebih

dari 5 jam sehari, anda terasa tabiat tidak membenarkan anda

melakukannya oleh kerana ianya diluar z on selesa anda ( malas lah

tu :) ).

Sekiranya anda berjaya memaksa diri anda keluar dari z on selesa

tersebut, dan memaksa diri anda bekerja 5 jam sehari untuk satu

jangka masa tertentu sehingga ianya menjadi tabiat, z on selesa

kerja anda akan berubah kepada 5 jam bekerja! Dan pada ketika itu,

sekiranya anda ingin bekerja 4 jam sehari, anda akan rasa tidak

selesa kerana ia di luar z on selesa anda.

Positif attitude when you get Mesothelioma

In the following survival framework, there are four steps that are necessary in order to cultivate the desire to continue living and a determination to fight meslthelioma cancer while at the same time keeping a realistic and positive quality of life.
Curse it. It's considered normal and healthy to be upset and downright angry about your medical condition. Anyone with cancer of any type is going to be in a rage about their cancer, whether he or she is consciously aware of this or not. Anger and rage are forms of energy that should be expressed unless they become destructive to others or to oneself. Why should these emotions be discharged? Because surpressing them may create undesired and harmful conditions such as emotional paralysis, depression, withdrawal, or suicide.

Bear it. Face the truth, no matter how difficult this is. This requires avoiding denial, wishful thinking, feeling sorry for oneself, living as if you have become a victim, or blaming yourself for your disease. It is very important to avoid continuous negative thinking. In short, a negative attitude can actually become an emotional malignancy that will compound your physical maligancy.

Combat it. After you face and accept your medical condition and its implications, you are in a better position to battle your disease and optimize your chance of recovery, both physically and emotionally. Seek out the best possible medical treatment rather than simply going through the motions with less than optimal treatment.

Laugh at it. People who work with cancer patients often discuss the therapeutic importance of laughter and a good sense of humor. A good laugh can actually make a person with this disease feel better about life, both from a physical and an emotional perspective. From a mesothelioma research standpoint, it has been shown that humor helps in the healing process by bolstering the immune system. In other words, your outlook can make a tremendous difference in the healing process---so laugh and try to be happy

If you have mesothelioma or another form of cancer, make it a point on a daily basis to watch funny movies, videos, re-runs, and comedies that keep you laughing. Go to your local library and find joke books or stories about comedians. Become a master at finding funny and positive things in life that help you keep your spirits positive.

Mesothelioma and Cancer

Sorry to say,its not about positif but its is also important thing we must know,
lets read about this information
I would like to discuss some key information about cancer. Since mesothelioma is a form of cancer, an overall discussion of cancer can actually shed some light on a more particular form of cancer such as mesothelioma.
Chemotherapy is the most commonly used treatment for cancer. Although radiation therapy and surgery destroy cancer cells in a particular specified area, chemotherapy, on the other hand, is a more generalized treatment. That is, chemotherapy kills cancer cells throughout the body by tracking down and attacking malignant cells that have spread from the source of the tumor to other parts of the body.
Radiation therapy, surgery, and chemotherapy are not only the the most commonly used treatments for cancer in general, but they are also the "traditional mesothelioma treatments" used for malignant mesothelioma.
Cigarette smoke, with its high concentration of carcinogens, inhaled by both smokers and non-smokers, is the leading cause of lung cancer. Facts about environmental exposure to radon (a cancer-causing, radioactive gas) compounded with smoking increases the risk of lung cancer.
People have mistaken assumptions about the cause of lung cancer. Many, if not most people believe that cigarette smoking is the cause of all types of lung cancers. This widespread misinformation makes it even more critical for these individuals to become aware of asbestos-related lung cancer. Smoking is certainly a major factor, but clearly not the only cause of lung cancer.
Billions of dollars are spent on cancer research each year throughout the world. Much of the current cancer research is funded by charity organizations. Fortunately, these organizations are doing their part to help fight this deadly disease.
Today's Mesothelioma Tip: As with many forms of cancer, mesothelioma can spread very quickly. Symptoms of mesothelioma can include shortness of breath, chronic coughing, loss of weight, and chest pains. If the malignant mesothelioma cancer is diagnosed early enough, the tumor can be surgically removed, and with radiation treatment and chemotherapy, a full recovery is at times possible. Obviously, a key in full recovery is the diagnosis of the disease at a very early stage.
Until next time, stay healthy and keep your eye on the latest developments in mesothelioma research and information :-)

Cartoon

A Positive Attitude -- Jokes and Humor Can Help

New stimuli and a positive attitude are attributed to "successful" aging. (It's not enough to just tick off the birthdays.) Specific attitude issues to think about to achieve this are:

• Atittude 1 -- Take risks in life.
• Atittude 2 --Respect your own opinion.
• Atittude 3 --Be flexible and adaptable.
• Atittude 4 --Take on new challenges and learn new things.
• Atittude 5 --Deal with pain and losses, but don't hold on to the suffering they bring.
• Atittude 6 --See the half full glass.
• Atittude 7 --Take care of yourself with healthy eating and regular exercise.
• Atittude 8 --Don't accept societies myths as true about you.
• 
  

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered: I started out with nothing, I still have most of it.

My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran.

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few ...

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BE A KID AGAIN...Some more Attitude

- Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
- Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces.
- Grow a milk mustache.
" Smile back at the man in the moon.
- Read the funnies--throw the rest of the paper away.
- Dunk your cookies.
- Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along.
- Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach.
- Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself.
- Step carefully over sidewalk cracks.
- Change into some play clothes.
- Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich.
- Have a staring contest with your cat. - Eat ice cream for breakfast.
- Kiss a frog, just in case.
- Blow the wrapper off a straw.
- Refuse to eat crusts.
- Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no".
- Watch TV in your pajamas.
- Ask "Why?" a lot
- Have someone read you a story.- Eat dessert first.
- Wear your favorite shirt with your favorite pants even if they don't match.
- Sneak some frosting off a cake.
- Refuse to back down in a "did vs. did-not argument".
- Get someone to buy you something you don't really need.
- Hide your vegetables under your napkin.
- Stay up past your bedtime.
- Whatever you're doing, stop once in a while for recess.
- Wear red gym shoes.
- Make a "slurpy" sound with your straw when you get to the bottom of a milkshake.
- Play a song you like really loud, over and over.
- Let the string all the way out on your kite.
- Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner.
- Fuss a little, then take a nap.
- Take a running jump over a big puddle.
- Giggle a lot for no real reason.

What is an Attitude?

What is an attitude? An attitude is a point of view about a situation. An attitude has three components. An attitude is made up of:
What you think.
What you do.
What you feel.
No matter what situation you are in you always have certain thoughts about it. You also have an emotional response to it, and you behave a certain way in it. To begin changing your attitude you either change your thinking, the way you act, or the way you feel. Two of these choices are easier to influence than the third.
It is easier to change the way you think or behave than to change your emotions. However, it is usually our emotions that get our attention in regard to the situation. It is our emotions that we most want to change. When we feel sad, angry, anxious, or frustrated we don’t like it. We want the feeling to quickly go away. So we start trying to change the emotion. We often begin by trying to change others so we can feel better. It doesn’t work. We engage in behaviors like alcohol and drug abuse to numb the feelings. It doesn't work. Working all the time or excessive shopping are attempts at avoiding emotional distress. They don't work.
Our initial tendency is to focus on the feeling level and to change it first. The feeling or emotional level, however, is the most difficult to work on. You can’t "grasp" a feeling and force it to change. Feelings are powerful but vague. You can not get a grip on a feeling. If you want to change your feelings you must start elsewhere. You must begin with either your thinking or your behavior over which you have more control. The secret in effectively changing your emotions is knowing that feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are all related. When you change one of them ( for example, thinking) the other two (feelings and behavior) will change as well. Since it is easier to get a "grasp" on thoughts and behavior this is the place to begin your work of staying resilient. Change what you think! Change what you do! The emotions will change and you will be creating resiliency.

Developing a positive attitude

The way you think, day in day out, affects all aspects of your life. Learning to listen to your "internal dialogue" will help you recognize your thought patterns and how they may be affecting the way you handle the stressful situations of daily living.

Many people have found that, when they tune in to their internal dialogue, much of it is negative. Thoughts like, "I could never do that" and "What if I fail?" can seriously impact the way you behave. This, in turn, affects every aspect of your life. When we are stressed, certain hormones are produced by the body. When released infrequently, these hormones are harmless but, when produced continuously, they can cause serious damage. Cardiovascular disease is caused in part by the continuous production of stress hormones.

The key to living our lives free from negative thought is to remember who we truly are free from our momentary emotional shifts. For many the transition to positive awareness of Self requires "small steps" on a chosen path. The following tools may prove to be powerful stepping stones necessary for the greater achievement of Absolute Joyful Living.

Sleep more soundly!
Sleep is absolutely essential to improve and maintain energy levels, immune system effectiveness, mental and emotional clarity and overall quality of life. When you feel good, you function better.

The following tips may prove very useful if you need to sleep better!

• Decrease mental activity in the evening.
• Make preparations for the next day.
• Take a hot bath before bedtime to help relieve stress.
• Soothing fragrances, lights, and music may help as well.
• Limit activities in bed to sleep and sex only - no reading
  or television watching.
• If you have trouble sleeping, try sleeping in another area
  of the house.
• Try listening to repetitive soothing natural sounds (waves, wind, waterfall, stream, etc.) from a selected high quality sound device.
• Natural homeopathic, nutritional and herbal support may prove useful (e.g. calcium, melatonin, passionflower or valerian before bed).
• Turn off all the lights.

This last item is particularly important, as melatonin (key hormone involved in sleep/repair cycles) production may be inhibited if you sleep with the lights on.

Develop your positive attitude!
Here are some ways to help you develop a more positive attitude and better manage the stressors in your life:

• Listen to internal dialogue. Divide one or more sheets of paper into two columns and, for a few days, jot down in the left column all the negative thoughts that come into your head. Rewrite each thought in a positive way in the second column. Practice doing this in your mind until it becomes a habit. (For example, "I'll never get this finished by the end of the day!" could become, "I will probably get most of this finished by the end of the day.")
• Learn to communicate. Not saying the things we feel can lead to a sense of frustration, hurt, anger or anxiety . If you find communicating difficult, or are afraid of arguments or bruised feelings, take a course in communicating effectively.
• Get back to basics. Reconnect with old friends, take the dog for a walk, visit an art gallery or listen to your favourite music. Enjoy a long, relaxing bath, read a great book, tell your child a story, or ask an older relative to tell you one! It is the simplest things in life that give us the most pleasure...
• Help someone out. The simple act of helping others helps us to feel good. Pick up groceries for an aging neighbour, volunteer at your local hospital or read a book to someone with failing eyesight. If you are unsure of how to help out in your community, call your nearest volunteer centre.
• Find your spirituality. Research has shown that those who have developed their spirituality through associating with other spiritual individuals or having their own personal and unique beliefs, live longer, more satisfying lives. The secret is practising those beliefs, either through organized spiritual associations, or simple meditation in a quiet place.
• Allow yourself to be loved. The ability to love and be loved is the most basic human trait. We, as a society, have become disconnected from this most basic need - fear-centred emotions (depression, loneliness, guilt and anger) are the symptoms. Finding ways to reconnect with others is extremely helpful in developing a positive attitude. The following link is very enlightening. The Web of Love - Reconnecting with Source www.WebofLove.org
• Allow yourself to laugh and find humour in the simplest of things. Laughter is a powerful mood elevator. If you are feeling down, read some jokes, watch a funny movie or just act "silly" once in awhile. At times, it is a good thing to let yourself see the world through a child's eyesParticipate in new physical and mental activities to improve confidence levels and coping mechanisms. It could be as easy as learning the meanings of new words or learning about new topics to build confidence.
• Follow the principles of holistic health (better nutrition and exercise help improve mood and attitude)
• Remember that the mainstream media focuses on information that leads to fear, negative thoughts and emotion. Find other more positive things to do with your precious moments such as reading a great positive book, a walk in nature or volunteering with people and animals.
• It is all about letting go of the "emotional baggage" that holds us back from true enlightenment! All that you require is already within you, so do not give your power away by blindly following others. Rather, trust in the goodness that already resides within your heart.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams.
Who looks inside, awakens.
Carl Jung

Decide to Have a Positive Day!

Our inner critic is the internal voice of negative judgmental self talk. It is the nagging feeling, the inner voice that makes us critical of ourselves and others. It is postulated that our inner critic developed early in life as a mechanism for reminding us of childhood rules and standards that we internalized about how we were supposed to think, feel and behave.

We learn to be critical of ourselves as we learn to march to the drummer of others wants and needs, we learn to be critical of others when they do not conform to what we want or expect.

The inner critic speaks loudly in judgment of ourselves and other people. It is a voice that yearns to castigate. It is the voice of enslavement to our egos and to the wants of others.

Sometimes our inner critic will leave us with feelings of self doubt; sometimes it will allow us to feel negative and critical of others. When we listen to our inner critic, we listen to negativity that separates us from our best self and also from others.

Our best personal and professional selves come from a place of self love and acceptance. When we can truly love and accept ourselves we can also see those in our world as collaborators on our path of personal learning. Love is a path which brings us closer to the seed of creation and to a place where we can grow, learn and to share joy with others.

We are all partners on a human journey, and the greatest challenge in our roadmap to personal and professional success is to cleave to our humanity, to the values of sharing and caring that make us brothers and sisters on the road of life.

Take a day this week to stomp out the voice of your inner critic; to free yourself from self imposed negativity and judgment.

Silence all criticism and negativity for 24 hours. Concentrate only on the good in yourself and in others that you meet and interact with. Give the inner critic a day off, and in so doing spend a day with your highest, greatest and best self.

Key Examples of Positive Affirmation (self-talk) to Help You:

• I will think of myself as Successful!
• I will have positive expectations for everything I do!
• I will remind myself of past successes!
• I will not dwell on failures, I just will not repeat them!
• I will surround myself with positive people and ideas!
• I will keep trying until I achieve the results I want!

Attitude leads to a winning

Staying Positif( job search)

It is easier said than done, but maintaining a positive attitude is extremely important both for your own sense of well being and for the success of your job search. There are 4 things that will make a difference:

• Having realistic expectations about how long the search will take
• Being willing to learn from your experiences
• Maintaining a healthy, balanced lifestyle
• Getting the help and support from someone else when you need it.

How you feel about yourself and the world around you makes a difference to the success of your search for work.

Here's some information that may help you to keep positive.

Coping with the Knock backs and Rejection

"Don't call us, we'll call you".
"Sorry, mate, there's no work here".
"You don't have enough experience".
"We need someone older" / "We need someone a bit younger".
"No, Madam, we've got too many staff as it is".

...so how do you cope when you get one knock back after another?

The job market is highly competitive. There will always be people missing out when someone else is successful...but after you've been turned down lots of times, it's easy to lose hope and to start to believe you are no good. Its too easy to be negative, but this will only drag you down more. There are ways to stay positive:

Don't try and do it alone. Make sure you have the support and help of a family member, friend or other person.

It helps to have someone checking your resumes and job applications, checking your spelling, setting out, how you've said things, and the presentation.

Use your networks! Don't forget the people at your local Employment Directions Network Career Centre or other employment service agencies who are there to help you.

Keep your self-talk positive. What messages do you tell yourself about yourself? If you keep thinking you that you are useless then you will eventually believe it - when it's just not true!

You will need to make sure that you are positive despite the negative experiences. Learn from your mistakes, develop your job search skills, and set yourself realistic short term objectives and longer term goals.

Keep a positive lifestyle. If you are feeling healthy and alive, you will seem more positive to other people and you will become more positive about yourself.

You need to keep a balance as well. Give yourself time to relax and engage positively with other people. Know what helps you to "unwind" and give yourself permission to do just that every now and then.

It's all a matter of perspective... Next time you miss out on a job, it could just be that the employer made the mistake of not employing the best person for the job. They didn't recognise your talent and potential...and it was their loss. So look at what you can do to ensure the next employer doesn't make the same mistake!.

Possible Reasons for Missing Out on a Job

Employers consider a range of issues when selecting new staff. Some of the most common ways they would be assessing your suitability for the position would include:

1. Your personal presentation. Were you appropriately dressed for the employer? Did you speak clearly? Was your body language confident and positive?
2. The skills and ability that have to do the job. Do you have the actual skill requirements and other abilities that the employer is looking for?
3. Your personality and ability to get on with other people. Did you come across to the interviewer as a likeable person who would be a good addition to the workplace relationships?
4. Willingness and enthusiasm for the job. Did you sound like a keen worker who was prepared to learn new things in the workplace?
5. Your attitude and the level of interest that you show during the interview. Did you sound positive and interested by your answers and your questions?
6. Unsuitable or insufficient qualifications. Could it be that there are some essential qualifications that the employer required that you currently just don't have?
7. Stable work habits. If the employer is seeking someone who will stick around for a few years, does your work history show that you are likely to do that?
8. Levels of experience. You may have the qualifications or some experience, but the employer may require more previous experience than you have got to offer.
9. Ability to communicate clearly. Did you show from the interview that you can speak clearly, that you can listen to others and conduct a conversation with others?
10. Ability to fit in with existing staff. In a smaller workplace, there may be an existing team of people there. How would the employer see you fitting in with that group of people?
11. Flexibility. Did you sound like the kind of person who is adaptable, open to new things, who can move with change - or are you stuck in the mud?
12. Living too far away from place of employment. This is often a problem for those in the country, especially young people. Does the employer think that you will be able to get to work on time? Does the employer believe there will be potential transport problems that may arise for you?
13. Maturity. Does the employer need a person of a certain level of maturity for the position? Do you come across as having the level of maturity in attitude and life experience that the employer is seeking?
14. Potential. This works two ways: Do you have the potential to develop into an asset for the employer, or do you have too much potential so that you are likely to move on after the employer has trained you up to the position?
15. Brashness during interview - too talkative or keen. Did you come across as loud and overconfident? Did you seem to be a bit of a "know-all"?
16. Confidence; ability to express himself/herself. Did you seem to be confident and articulate? Were you able to communicate your thoughts and ideas?
17. Reliability. In the employer's mind, do you seem to be a reliable kind of person? Do you give the impression of being dependable, honest, and someone to be trusted?
18. Self motivation. By the way you have conducted yourself during your job search and interview, do you seem like a highly motivated person?
19. Tidy handwriting. This may not be an issue for many jobs, but it would be for some! Will customers and others in the workplace be able to read your writing? This might be important to the employer.
20. References and Referees. Do your written references sing your praises? Did your telephone referees say the right kinds of glowing positive stuff about you? Or did that past employer say what they really thought about you and the way you work?
21. Over emphasis on money; interest in only the best dollar offer, not the best job. Did you appear to the employer that you were only there for the money? The employer needs you to make money for them, remember.
22. Sincerity. Did you come across to the employer as a sincere person? Did you seem like you really wanted the job? Or do you sound like you are only there to fulfil Centrelink's requirements?
23. Promptness. Were you late for the interview? If you were, the employer might be worried that you will always be late for work. That would be a concern for them.
24. Bad luck! There is an element of luck in searching for work. You have to be in the right place at the right time...and maybe someone else beat you to it! Maybe things just didn't work out well for you, the car broke down, or it was just a bad day!
25. Someone else got the job! Maybe there was someone else you were competing against who was better qualified, more experienced or who the interviewer thought was better suited to the position than you were. Maybe next time you'll beat someone else...

Remember, it's all in the mind of the employer. You have to convince the employer that you are the best person for the job. Not only that, but you have to convince the employer that you will be an asset to their business or organisation.

After you have been for an interview, study the above list carefully and think about how you might have performed in the mind of the employer.

If your application and interview were unsuccessful, you may wish to telephone the interviewer and ask if he/she would be prepared to discuss your interview performance.

This information may be helpful to prepare yourself for future interviews.

Other ways to help you find work

There are plenty of things you can do to help you find work or get better prepared to work. Here are a few suggestions:

• Become a volunteer. There are many organisations seeking assistance from volunteers. Being a volunteer expands your networks, gives you valuable experiences and helps you to gain new skills.
• Attend some courses. Any opportunity to build your social skills and communication skills, or develop your technical skills will be beneficial to you. These courses can be anything from formal certified TAFE courses,to informal personal development courses run in your local community centre. Find out what courses are offered by your local Employment Directions Network Career Centre or employment/recruitment agency.
• If you are considering self employment, talk to your nearest Business Enterprise Centre, the Small Business Development Corporation, and anyone else you know who is successfully self employed. If you want to do contract work, you will need to organise your own insurance. Once you have got that in place, whole new possibilities arise for you to market your skills and abilities other than having to be employed in the traditional sense.
• Surf the Internet looking for resources. There are mind-boggling amounts of information that can be helpful to you, from all over the world. Everything from building resumes to course information, to information about jobs to self-employment - you name it, it's all there.
• Do some work experience. This helps you get into the pattern of getting to work and operating in the work culture, particularly if you have been out of work for some time, or have not had a job before. It gives you a chance to try out that job, as well as getting to know what is involved "behind the scenes". You are also getting to know the employer and work mates, while at the same time they are getting to know you. You are gaining valuable experience that will add to your skills base and will look good on your resume!
• Get a job! Seriously, it's always easier to get a job when you've already got one. Many employers would rather take on a person who is already working than a person who hasn't worked for some time. Look at one job as being a stepping stone to another. Set your sights on the work that you really want, and if you don't have any success yet, do something else while you keep an eye out for the one you're really after.

Change Your Life

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

OK, you may not be able to change everyone's attitude (wouldn't it be great if we could?), but you can do something about your own. And if you have a good attitude, you could have a positive impact on someone else:

Thankya, thankyaverymuch: Be sure to say thanks for a job well done, whether it's a fast- food employee who got your order right or a customer- service representative who handled your problem

Don't assume it's always about you: If someone makes a rude comment, cuts you off in traffic or jumps ahead in line at the grocery store, don't take it personally. Remember, he or she may be in the middle of a personal crisis or just having a bad day. But don't let it ruin your day.

Just listen: When you notice someone is having a rotten day, why not ask them how things are going or ask if you can do anything? Sometimes, just knowing somebody cares enough to ask -- and is willing to lend an ear -- makes all the difference. After venting a few minutes, he or she might just feel better.

Start day on a positive note: Listen to positive music, read something inspirational before leaving home for work or school -- or just a trip to the mall.